<!-- Begin
//august2003
theDate= new Date();
var day = theDate.getDate();
var textdate = (theDate.getMonth() + 1) + '/' + theDate.getDate() + '/' + theDate.getYear();
var eaquotes = 31;
quotes = new Array(eaquotes+1);
quotes[1] = "Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?";
quotes[2] = "Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?";
quotes[3] = "Why don't you ever see the headline <B>Psychic Wins Lottery?</B>";
quotes[4] = "Why is <B>abbreviated</B> such a long word?";
quotes[5] = "Why is it that doctors call what they do <B>practice?</B>";
quotes[6] = "Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?";
quotes[7] = "Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?";
quotes[8] = "Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?";
quotes[9] = "Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?";
quotes[10] = "Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?";
quotes[11] = "Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?";
quotes[12] = "Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?";
quotes[13] = "If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?";
quotes[14] = "If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?";
quotes[15] = "Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked?";
quotes[16] = "If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?";
quotes[17] = "If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him... is he still wrong?";
quotes[18] = "Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?";
quotes[19] = "If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?";
quotes[20] = "Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?";
quotes[21] = "Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster than you is a maniac?";
quotes[22] = "Why did Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?";
quotes[23]  = "If there is another word for synonym?";
quotes[24] = "What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?";
quotes[25] = "If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?";
quotes[26] = "Would a fly without wings be called a walk?";
quotes[27] = "If you are killing time, are you damaging eternity?";
quotes[28] = "If blind people wear dark glasses, why don't deaf people wear earmuffs?";
quotes[29] = "Should crematoriums give discounts to burn victims?";
quotes[30] = "Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?";
quotes[31] = "If a mute kid swears, should his mother wash his hands with soap?";
document.write('<i>' + quotes[day] + '</i><br>');
//  End -->

